Thursday, June 25, 2009

1 - This blog has become part of my (almost) daily reading and has been extremely liberating. I often try to figure out if one of the posters is someone I know.

2 - I am 23 and am going through a remarkably easy divorce right now.

3 - My husband, though a lovely man, was unsatisfying on many levels, including sexually.

4 - He was the ninth man I ever slept with and I never cheated on him.

5 - The first guy I slept with was the brother of my best friend (at the time). I was 17 and he was a few years older than me. We were both drunk and it didn't really go far.

6 - The second guy is still one of my very dear friends and the best lay of all of them. He was the only one I ever came with and to this day I regret breaking up with him. I secretly hope that we will get back together again.

7 - The third and fourth guys happened in the same night as the one girl I've slept with. We had a foursome in college. It was fun, and I'd do it again with the right people. I don't even remember the guys' names.

8 - The fifth guy was the girl in 7's boyfriend. We had a threesome, I wasn't allowed to kiss him but had a great time being fucked from behind while eating her out.

9 - The sixth guy was a total failure. I had a huge crush on him and ended up dry humping with him in an elevator one night when we were drunk. He later pulled his (massive) cock out while we were walking along a high way and I started giving him a hand job.

10 - A few weeks later I booty called 9 and we finally fucked. He was too big to penetrate me in any way that was remotely pleasurable, so I tried to suck him off, but he was too big for that too and he never came. Apparently he was pretty emotionally distraught because he ended up crying and thanking me anyway.

11 - The seventh guy was 10 years older than me, and mentally ill. I didn't know this until he went off his meds and moved across the country. We fucked like bunnies, including on his desk at work once. He was hot and I loved being with him, but it was bad news.

12 - The eighth guy was even worse news, he was even older than the guy in 11, and not as hot. He was emotionally abusive and I didn't know if I could ever leave him even though I wanted to. I met my husband and I did though.

13 - I love to give head, and I think I'm fairly good at it. I never managed to actually get my husband off this way though, and that was a huge disappointment for me.

14 - I have a hard time taking sex seriously and am often silly in bed. This usually made my husband mad and tell me it was a turn off.

15 - 5, my first, was the most fulfilling sexual relationship I ever had. I got together with him again after 6 and I broke up and we just screwed around for months. We tried a number of different things together and while we weren't a good match, we were comfortable with each other and learned a lot about ourselves in the process.

16 - I started masturbating when I was very young, I don't remember exactly when, but I do remember my mom walking in on me several times. Luckily my parents are hippies and didn't really care.

17 - My sister and I never got 'the talk', sex and sexuality were just normal conversation in our house. I never walked in on my parents, but knew the basics from very young. I learned most of the kinky stuff from the internet though. I spent hours as a pre teen and teen online in forums and on erotic websites.

18 - I had a friend when I was about 16 that would webcam with me. I didn't have one, but he did. He would jerk off and let me watch. He was also the first to go down on me. He did it just once, but it was the best orgasm I ever had. Very few guys have gone down on me since, and usually with limited success.

19 - I don't come easily. I can get myself off in about two minutes flat, but for some reason when there's another person involved it just doesn't happen. I have come with other people, like 18 and a few times with 6, but since then I've been faking.

20 - I watch porn and masturbate on an almost daily basis. My favorites are amateur porn, especially POV and public stuff. As soon as I come though, I lose interest, even if it's in the middle of something.

21 - I would love to have sex in a public or semi-public place. The idea of being caught excites me and I often masturbate while there's people close by. I even masturbated while driving on a highway one day.

22 - I totally have penis envy. The thought of being able to penetrate someone like that drives me crazy and I often fantasize about being a man and fucking someone silly. It's just not the same with a finger or strap on.

23 - My favorite position is doggy style, it's much more pleasurable for me to be penetrated from behind. I hate missionary, I don't like feeling like I'm pinned down. I'm also self-conscious about my face during sex for some reason, so if he's not looking at me I can be more into it.

24 - At the end of high school and the beginning of university I fooled around with a lot of guys. I had a mostly male group of friends and I did something with most of them. 6, 9 and 18 all belonged to that group. I also made out with another one of them, who wanted to finger/fuck me but I didn't let him (don't know why, just being a cock tease I guess). Another one I gave a hand job to while he fingered me under a blanket at a party, he had the smallest dick I ever ran across, it was about the size of my thumb.

25 - I hope to someday meet someone, man or woman, who is willing to explore their sexuality with me. I feel like I have a lot to learn and explore. This is one of the reasons I'm not sad to be divorcing my husband, as he was into "wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am" vanilla sex and not a lot of it.
1. My current boyfriend is my first everything. First kiss, boyfriend, sex, love, etc.

2. I wasn’t his first though. He had sex one time before me with his ex and apparently it was so terrible, he wanted to be celibate. However, he’s kissed about two-three girls prior to me, one who was a good friend of mine, and it was a one-time deal. Me and my boy were best friends at the time, and it didn’t bother me that he made out with her (apparently she was sloppy and a bad kisser). However, the mere fact that I wasn’t his first at things like he was mine kills me.

3. Going along with #2, I am pretty jealous of my boyfriend’s past “sex” life or whatever. Even though most of it was bad. I wish I had more experience.

4. It kills me even more because I know I COULD have had more experience, but passed on the opportunity.

5. Now that I’ve been sexually active, I want to go out and have more sex so that I’m more experienced and better at it. Then I want to come back to my boyfriend after we’ve been broken up and have the most amazing sex ever, just to show him I good I am.

6. He thinks that he was my second though. I told him I lost my virginity to my ex when I was sixteen. My ex and I did everything but sex. It was okay but I never got off.

7. I never really got off with my current boyfriend either until about three months into our relationship. He fingered me and I finally came. My sister was fucking her friend in the next room.. I only finished because I subtly told him the importance of the clit. He never paid much attention to it because the guys in porn never did. That amuses me.

8. I’ve never gotten off during sex. I always thought I would. When I first I had sex and I didn’t come, I was pretty upset. It still upsets me. I can’t figure out how to do it.

9. However, my boyfriend thinks I’ve always gotten off. At the same time as him. Every. Single. Time. He thinks that I’m really orgasmic. I’m not.

10. I don’t know why I lied to him, really. I guess I wanted to make him feel good about himself. He’s a good guy. However, now that I know what it feels like for him to get me off, I’m completely honest with him. I wonder if he’s noticed that I don’t finish during sex anymore. I blame the condoms.

11. I hate being on top.. I really do. While I prefer grinding so that my clit gets stimulation, my boyfriend obviously prefers me bouncing up and down, but that does absolutely nothing for me. I tell him I can’t be on top because it hurts. It doesn’t. It’s just uncomfortable and I’m lazy.

12. I think I’ve always been bad on top. When I was a kid, my friend and I would grind and make out through a pillow. I tried to be on top one time, but after a short time she told me I was doing it wrong so we switched.

13. That friend was my first “real” kiss. It was in my backyard. We’re both girls. She tried sticking her tongue in my mouth, but I was too afraid to part my lips for her. My mom caught us and freaked out. I think she’s a closet homophobe, but that’s beside the point. I was a kid, probably 9 or 10. I guess that was my first kiss but I don’t consider it as such.

14. My current boyfriend is very sweet and all, but I’ve kind of felt pressured by him. Before we started dating, we were fooling around (aka grinding) and he took off my bra and shirt. I wasn’t really comfortable with this, but I didn’t really know how to say no. I just wanted someone to touch me, I suppose. I felt like the only 17 year old with virtually no sexual experience.. Then he stuck his hand down my pants and fingered me, without even asking. It was a day after we started dating. I wasn’t comfortable with this either but I didn’t know how to stop it. I was terrified of returning the favor by giving him a handjob, so he went home dissatisfied quite a few times before I caved in. He would jokingly complain that he got blue balls. I took the hint.

15. The first time I gave him a handjob was the first time I touched a penis. I was stroking him for about ten seconds tops when he came. I didn’t actually look at his dick until a few times after that.

16. The first time I gave him head I really didn’t want to. He kept hinting and hinting at it and seemed to be pretty disappointed when I jokingly said I would and then never did. I said I was teasing him, waiting until he was begging for it before I went down on him. In reality, I was stalling for time. I lead him on by accident. When I finally gave him a blow job, he lasted about five seconds before he came. I did it again a few minutes later. He lasted longer. Those first two times he told me he was coming so I could remove my mouth. The third time, he was distracted because it felt so good and forgot to say something, and he ended up coming in my mouth. I swallowed. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I’ve swallowed ever since.

17. I used to hate giving head; now I love it. I still hate giving handjobs though. I never do it because he prefers head anyway.

18. I’ve never received oral. He licked me while fingering me, but that was because I was getting kind of dry down there. I’m kind of self conscious about myself down there, but I find myself wanting him to do it. But I don’t want to ask him because I don’t think he’s very comfortable with idea, and I don’t want to pressure him the way he pressured me. I know how it feels.

19. When my boyfriend and I first started fooling around, I was so self assured and aggressive. I was bold, open, adventurous. He liked it. I’m not like that anymore, not that that extent. I’m lazy because I know he’ll do all the work. I mean, I’ll give him head and still put in a good amount of effort, but I’m not as kinky as I once was. I honestly don’t know what happened.

20. When my boyfriend and I first started having sex, I always initiated it. I’ve basically taken control of him on the spot and had my way with him. Then he told me I was kinda pushy when it came to sex so I’ve never been that dominant again. Now he says he wants me to spontaneously take control and “rape” him. I won’t do it because I always remember that comment.

21. I make a lot of noise, even at the littlest touch. I want him to know that he’s pleasing me. I wish he would return the favor more often. He’s pretty quiet and I never know if he’s enjoying himself as much as I’d like. In fact, I wish I received any sort of feedback. Even criticism.

22. I let my boyfriend finger me before he kissed me. He got my shirt off before he kissed me. We gave each other hickeys that trailed down our necks to our chests and across our shoulders before he kissed me. He had to hold me down to kiss me. I laughed afterwards and he thought it was weird.

23. On a totally unrelated note, I have fantasies of my recruiter taking me into the bathroom in his office and fingerfucking me. I guess fucking would be nice too.

24. I wish I was better at sex.

25. Sex was more exciting when I wasn’t getting it. Now that I am it isn’t so exciting anymore. I like it of course, but I don’t crave it like I used to. In compiling this list, I’ve realized that I have a shitty sex life. Wow. I know it’s my fault. I feel guilty because my boyfriend loves me beyond comprehension and I know all he wants to do is to please me.
1. I kissed almost every boy in my neighborhood by the time I was ten.

2. I let a lot of them look at me with my clothes off and some kissed my belly button.

3. I cross-dress every now and again, and I love the attention I get from it.

4. When people ask me when I knew that I was a lesbian, I don’t tell them the truth: when I was learning how to french kiss with my sister. We’re about the same age and didn’t think there was anything wrong with it.

5. Two weekends ago was the closest I’ve ever gotten to having intercourse. I denied him access mostly because I was terrified that the one time I had sex with a guy, I’d end up pregnant.

6. I’m still calling myself a lesbian even though I randomly make-out/fool around with guys. I think it’s fair since so many girls make-out (and more) with other girls and say they’re straight.

7. I’m not sure how this happens, but with every guy I’ve done anything relatively sexual, strawberries, or strawberry scented/flavored things have been included.

8. On the day after my 18th birthday, I gave a hand-job to a guy I had just met that day. The following Monday at school, when I told my crush about it, she was really jealous because she had never given a hand-job before. I was proud of myself for doing something she hadn’t since everyone thought she was a slut. I also really didn’t enjoy giving the hand-job and I didn’t get anything out of it. Ironically, my crush started asking me for advice on how to please guys and later she told me just how unpleased she was with them.

9. The first time I had sex, it was to appease my (at the time) girlfriend.

10. I’m a biter and a scratcher, and though it feels great when you reciprocate, I’ll give you hell if you leave any marks in typically visible areas.

11. I don’t understand the appeal of titty-fucking. Maybe I don’t understand it because I don’t have a penis.

12. I have had several straight women tell me that I would be perfect for them if only I was a guy. I hate that.

13. I’ve been meaning to buy this really nice strap-on, but every time I have the money, I spend it on something a bit more practical... I mean, how worthwhile is it to have a strap-on with no one to fuck?

14. My current crush saw me one day when I was wearing suspenders. She told me that she was tempted to snap them, but she said she didn’t want to hurt me. I told her that I wouldn’t mind at all.

15. She didn’t because we were at work. Yeah, I definitely have a hard time keeping my mind straight when we’re both on the clock.

16. The best sex I ever had was on a staircase.

17. Second-best was in a library.

18. Once, when helping my friend pick out some new clothes, I saw her, through the slats in the dressing room door, bent over in only her thong. I tried to look away, but in order to hear her through the door, I had to be right next to it. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve fantasized about that moment. Most of the fantasies included the strap-on mentioned in #13.

19. I love bending women over and finger-fucking them, doggy-style.

20. I’m very, very loud.

21. I can spend endless amounts of time going down on women, but I can also be quite the pillow princess.

22. I love hearing other people fucking, especially if it wakes me up in the middle of the night.

23. Dressing-up and role-playing really, really turns me on.

24. I love ice cubes and hot wax.

25. I’m definitely going to pleasure myself while perusing this blog every once in a while.